Some People Should Just Quit Life...

Salutations! This is my first article about people who should quit life. These stellar people are slowly rotting society. Without further adieu, here’s a couple picks of people I feel we’d all be better off without.

Where to start? Basically, we have a mid-thirties woman who needs help conceiving. I have no issues with women getting medical assistance to have children. The problem comes when after apparently not being satisfied with having 6 kids, (4 single births, then a set of twins), she decides, “What the hell, I’ll use up the last of those frozen embryos. What’s the worst that can happen?” Well, apparently, she got the worst case scenario. Two embryos split, giving a full eight fetuses. Doctors ask to reduce that number to something more manageable and less dangerous. In the interest of avoiding abortion debates, let’s say that not cramming eight things in a fist sized organ tends to be a good thing. Supermom Nadya will have none of this. Jumping along, she gets huge media coverage for

a) Having octuplets – An achievement in itself. I’m sure her cervix would stop caring after the 4^th kid, if it were still intact.

b) People realizing that she has six other kids – People did some math (other people copied it) to figure out that she now has fourteen kids. That’s enough for two hockey teams and refs.

Now the kicker.

c) This awesome person is unemployed.

Take a minute for that to sink in. Here’s a crazy statistic, a single child will cost about a million dollars from birth to eighteen. The Broodmaster has been on disability (citing back problems) and social assistance. Husband? Nope, he got the hell out of there. (Hate to have to pay alimony on that one) Not that any woman needs a man to support her, but this crazy lady decided that she’d have a ton of kids without a stable, independent income. Was her thought process, “Hey, rats have a bunch of offspring and they’re fine. I should be able to do it easily!” I mean seriously, you wonder why people send you death threats? People like this should be sterilized. (She had in vitro fertilization because her husband couldn’t give her children. She used a friend as a sperm donor.)

So, on top of a series of terribad decisions, she was offered a million dollars and health care to be in a porn movie. Firstly, her vagina is probably like pizza dough. I would not want to see that movie. Period. I watched the entire “Two Girls, One Cup” without flinching, but I’d vomit uncontrollably after seeing octo-mom’s v-jay. Secondly, she’s already a terrible spectacle and media whore, why not put yourself equivalent to a lesbian-midget-amputee? The kicker is she refused the money. What the hell do you think is going to happen to your children when you can’t take care of them? If I had even one child, I’d give limbs to ensure that my kid had enough to eat. I’d whore myself out to men to make sure it could be healthy. This gem refuses enough money ensure at least a couple years worth of care for her children, plus health care on top of that. This person has a god damn Bachelor of Science in Child Development. I’m sure the first thing you learn is, “You have to be able to feed kids every day.”

Well, there you have it. Its terrible karma, but I hope she loses all her kids and she gets hit by a meteor. Thinking about this person makes me feel that eugenics should not only be legal, but used regularly on people like this. Essentially, I really hate Nadya Suleman. She should pull her head out of her ass, do the stupid porno, and get a god damn job. I have to stop ranting now before I go buy a hunting rifle.

-Mark Wong