RANTnocerous - Love will tear us apart (or not!)

Jaded.

I've heard many people use this word a lot, and it seems that the older I get, the more I hear it.

The context in which it tends to get used generally goes something like this:

"I'm jaded when it comes to relationships."

This makes me sad to hear. It seems as though so many people are these walking mash-ups of fear and baggage.

I agree, life can suck sometimes, and sure we're allowed time for emotions such as sadness and self-pity. Everyone needs a grieving period, it's normal, or the end-of-relationship synonym for normal, "healthy." People go through a lot, especially when it comes to relationships, and love in general. At the end of the day the reality is that couples break-up. Some people get cheated on, some fall out of love and some just need time. Unfortunately it seems to go like this, people date and get hurt, have bad experiences and unfulfilled expectations. When this happens the walls around them grow bigger, their "defense strategy" becomes more complicated. What does this all lead to? People becoming "jaded when it comes to relationships."

What ever happened to people throwing caution to the wind? What ever happened to the whole idea of wearing your heart on your sleeve?

I obviously don't have all of life's answers, but the whole "heart on sleeve" mentality is something that I personally try to subscribe to. I really think that it's the best way to experience not only love, but life. Every experience/relationship should be taken as a learning experience rather than something horrible that forces you to hide. I think it's better to go into every new situation wide-eyed and fresh. Sure the thought can be a bit scary/daunting, when you hurt, you hurt hard, but on the flip-side, when you love, you love hard, and even experiencing that kind of hurt is worth it if you can experience that kind of love.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. Be happy. Live freely.

Talk to you sooner than soon,

-Samosa



Just because you sometimes fantasize about kissing or flirting with the opposite sex, even though you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, does not make you a sleaze. It makes you human.

I have news for you: becoming “hitched” does not subsequently rid you of your hormones! Nor does it mean that you will never be attracted to another person again. It just means that you see something in this one person, above all the others, that makes her/him worthy of your love and commitment. As long as you feel this way, than looking at the opposite sex and even imagining kissing them, is normal and all a part of human nature. A married friend of mine put it brilliantly. He used to say to me, “I can look at the menu, I just can’t order. Besides, the meal I already have perfectly fills my appetite.”

Just as there are exciting aspects of being in a relationship, there are exciting parts of being single also. And sometimes what we don’t have seems more appealing than what we do. In your current relationship, you are probably comfortable and feel settled. While this feels wonderful, safe and nice, you may be reminiscent of your unpredictable and spontaneous single days when you could flirt guilelessly and take action when you felt attracted to someone. I am not saying that one is better than the other, being single and being attached are both fabulous in their own right. But our minds love making us believe we want what we don’t have. Fantasizing about and looking at others also offers that sense of impulsiveness and uncertainty that doesn’t exist in your current secure and dependable relationship. Please realize that this is common even in the healthiest relationships. The important part is that despite these feelings, you still love and want to remain committed to your girlfriend/boyfriend. If you are steadfast in this notion, than you are absolutely with the right girl/boy!

Over and Out!

- Wonton